Shasha Ayob

Cinta Itu

2011-02-14T00:53:00.001+08:00

written by Me on Monday, February 14, 2011 at 12:19am

Cinta itu sesuatu yang indah

Saat jiwamu bergetar

Lidahmu kelu

Tubuhmu kaku

Perbuatanmu melangkaui sedarmu

Itulah cinta

Cinta itu sesuatu yang tulus

Lahir dari hatimu

Memancar dari sinar matamu

Mengundang rindumu

Mengabai masamu

Cinta itu suci

Jika iman pedomanmu

Membeda antara nafsu dan keinginanmu

Meletakkan jujur dihadapanmu

Menerima seikhlas seadanya pasanganmu

Biar dia bukan seperti anganmu

Cinta takkan hadir jika tidak dicari

Namun, cinta sejati hanya padamu Ilahi

KernaMu yang lebih memahami

Memberi peluang untuk nafasku mengecapi

Mencari erti cinta yang hakiki

Meski kadang sukar untuk kutemui

Kadang tersungkur bangunku sendiri

Terjerat dek igauan silam ngeriku

Ampuni diriku..Kekasihku

Kerna belum bisa menjadi yang terbaik untuk cintaMu...

Mengalah

2011-02-14T00:51:00.000+08:00

written by Me on Sunday, February 13, 2011 at 6:02pm

Biar hati luka parah

Jangan pernah mengalah

Diasak, ditebuk menjadi nanah

Hati jangan mengalah

Gumam kata caci maki

Bukan tanda mengalah

Diherdik, dijerkah menjadi lali

Tiada pernah mengalah

Walau jauh kaki melangkah

Mencari seribu kemanisan

Melupa sejuta kepahitan

Mendaki segunung harapan

Mengimbau sekelumit kenangan

Sekali tidak akan mengalah..

Kejora

2011-02-14T00:50:00.001+08:00

written by Me on Friday, January 28, 2011 at 10:01pm

Kejora itu pernah menjadi milikku

Bersatu Berpadu

Kejora itu pernah menerangi malamku

Bercahaya Bersinar

Kejora itu pernah menjangkau anganku

Berkhayal Berimaginasi

Kejora itu pernah bersama menyimpan hasratku

Harapanku Impianku

Namun...

Jika kejora itu bukan lagi milikku

Aku akur

Jika kejora itu tidak lagi menerangi malamku

Aku pasrah

Jika kejora itu memamah anganku

Aku redha

Kerna aku percaya tiada yang kekal selamanya

Umpama kejora, kelam diselubungi purnama

Dedaunan

2011-02-14T00:49:00.001+08:00

written by Me on Tuesday, January 18, 2011 at 4:34pm

Di kala dedaun dendam berguguran..

Dedaun kenangan hadir menyesakkan..

Kutebak rasa itu supaya tidak menggomol akal nuansa logikku..

Namun dedaun kenangan semakin menghitam..

Apabila batas membataskan asa..

Nafas-nafas tersekat menghela..

Tidak mampu mengutarakan kata-kata..

Tidak ingin mengimpikan bahagia..

Dedaun dendam tidak mungkin berguguran...

Dedaun kenangan tidak mungkin dilupakan...

Sukar membeza kepalsuan dan kebenaran...

Atau ini sememangnya ketentuan yang tidak mungkin dapat dielakkan...

why me?

2011-02-14T00:47:00.001+08:00

written by Me on Tuesday, December 15, 2009 at 10:53pm

I cry..I laugh..I smile..and cry again
I hope...I wish..I pray..and hope again
I'm scared...I'm afraid..it's frighten me
Why me?Why me?Why me? ohhh why me?

I write...and cry....and cry...
I wipe these tears that drop with all the fears
I breath in and out so to be calm
Owh why me?why me?why me?

I'm sad...I'm hurt...I'm dissapointed..
why me?why me?why me?

Owh GOD, help me..to go through this..please make me stronger, tougher..
My trust has been broken..and yet I cant trust any longer

Perihal Cinta

2011-02-14T00:42:00.000+08:00

written by Me on Sunday, November 15, 2009 at 7:57pm

Kata orang cinta tak boleh dipaksa...

Kata orang cinta itu buta...
Kata orang, manusia bisa berbunuh kerana cinta..
Kata orang cinta itu hanya sementara..
Kata orang cinta bukanlah segala-galanya..
Kata orang kalo kecewa bercinta jiwa merana..
Kata orang hati boleh pupus dek kerana cinta..
kata orang cinta itu sakit dan menyakitkan..
Kata orang manusia sanggup buat apa saja kerana cinta...

Cumanya, jika mengikut seperti kata orang..dapatkah kita meraih cinta?
Cinta sejati, jujur,ikhlas, lurus, tanpa sendu, tanpa ragu, tanpa airmata, tanpa curiga..

Mampukah bertahan jika cinta itu tidak kebal sekebal konkrit besi, tidak kuat sekuat dinding batu, tidak jujur sejujur anak kecil yang tidak mungkin menipu..dan tiada iman mengiringinya..
Pokoknya, perlukah bertahan jika hati sudah tidak dapat menikmati cinta yang tiada manisnya..

Yang pasti cinta hakiki hanya satu..hanya satu kepada-Nya..kerana kepada-Nya munajat cinta dipersembahkan, diratapi, ditaati, dipohoni...
Semoga Dia tidak melupakan cinta dan kasih-Nya untuk umat-nya yang sentiasa lupa, leka dan lalai dalam mengejar erti cinta..

WHATEVER

2011-02-14T00:41:00.001+08:00

written by Me on Friday, October 16, 2009 at 6:12pm

WHATEVER it is I have to be strong
WHATEVER it is I have to accept all the circumstances
WHATEVER it is I have to overtake the biggest opponent which is myself
WHATEVER it is I know that God chosed me to face this with a reason
WHATEVER it is I think I have to overcome all those sadness and throw it away myself
WHATEVER it is I know I have to think positive as no one will ever think positive for me
WHATEVER it is I know that my heart does not cheating
WHATEVER it is I, myself must know what I really want
WHATEVER it is I have to put those trust back

WHATEVER I lost, I have to get it back, the happiness, the smile, the laughter

As I know..WHATEVER it is , I am the one who feels it.The bitterness, the sadness, the pain, the hurt inside..and I don't want to be down for that..

KETIKA

2011-02-14T00:39:00.000+08:00

written by Me on Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 12:35am

KETIKA cinta itu hilang..

Hilang separuh nafasku
Hilang separuh nyawaku
Hilang separuh anganku
Hilang separuh mimpiku
Hilang separuh diriku

KETIKA cinta itu hadir
Dapatkah ia melengkapi hidupku,nyawaku,anganku,mimpiku juga diriku

Jika KETIKA cinta hilang dan hadir kembali..
Mampukah ia melarik pelangi agar impian dikecapi..
Mampukah ia menganyam buih rindu tanpa sendu..
Mampukah ia memadam bara dendam penuh dusta..
Mampukah ia meroboh kecewa lantas menyemai cinta..

Mungkin hanya KETIKA itu..

KADANG

2011-02-14T00:37:00.000+08:00

written by Me on Monday, October 5, 2009 at 10:19pm

KADANG.....

yang CANTIK itu tidak INDAH...
yang WANGI itu tidak HARUM...
yang KAYA itu tidak MEWAH...
yang DUSTA itu tidak BOHONG...
yang BAHAGIA itu tidak GEMBIRA...
yang HAMPA itu tidak KECEWA...

KADANG .....

bila bibir tersenyum, hati mungkin menangis
bila senyum terukir, jiwa mungkin merintih..
bila ukiran cinta tercalar, dapatkah sayang menampal sendu

sabar adalah pagar keimanan tapi sampai bilakah pagar itu akan kukuh berdiri atau kaku ditelan takdir waktu..

JIKA

2011-02-14T00:36:00.000+08:00

written by Me on Saturday, September 26, 2009 at 6:46am

Jika bibir bisa menitip tidak perlu pena menulis

Jika raut bisa gembira tidak perlu wajah bersedih
Jika hati bisa berbunga tidak perlu jantung berhenti berdegup
Jika cinta bisa mendatangkan bahagia tidak perlu sayang membataskan asa
Jika hidup bisa ceria tidak perlu mati membawa derita
Jika lagu bisa berdendang tidak perlu irama sumbang mengiringinya

Jika kasih sudah tiada apakah masih perlu disemai putiknya

Tatkala setiap dari-Nya berusaha menggapai bahagia, kenapa ada dari-Nya yang sentiasa terpesong ke arah derita. Adilkah jika kebahagiaan sendiri dilupakan demi memelihara kebahagiaan yang lain. mengapa berlu dibina istana bahagia jika lara penghuninya..

I May Not

2011-02-14T00:34:00.000+08:00

written by Me on Wednesday, July 8, 2009 at 3:50pm

I May Not Rich BUT I'm Happy
I May Not Pretty BUT I'm Happy
I May Not Have A Big Car BUT I'm Happy
I May Not Slim BUT I'm Happy
I May Not A Super Duper Genius BUT I'm Happy
I May Not Fair BUT I'm Happy

I May Not Have All Those Things Other People Have BUT I Truly Believe I'm Happy With What I Have Now

Kita Rasa

2011-02-14T00:31:00.002+08:00

written by Me on Friday, April 24, 2009 at 4:11pm

Kita rasa kita KURUS..ada orang lagi KURUS dari kita..

Kita rasa kita GEMUK..ada orang lagi GEMUK dari kita..
Kita rasa kita CANTIK..ada orang lagi CANTIK dari kita..
Kita rasa kita BIJAK..ada orang lagi BIJAK dari kita..
Kita rasa kita BODOH..(ileks ahhh) ada orang lagi BODOH dari kita..
Kita rasa kita BROKE..ada orang lagi BROKE dari kita...(bukan beruk ahhhh)
Kita rasa kita SEDIH...ada lagi orang SEDIH dari kita..
Kita rasa kita BEST..ada orang lagi BEST dari kita...

Dan banyak lagilah yang KITA RASA yang mana ada lagi orang yang KITA RASA dari kita...

Kesimpulannya, bersyukurlah dengan apa yang kita rasa dan ada..kerana mungkin itu yang terbaik untuk kita, tetapi bukan bermakna kita tidak harus berhenti berusaha... ;)

Another thing..

2011-02-14T00:29:00.001+08:00

written by Me on Sunday, February 15, 2009 at 9:09pm

Love is when you are incomplete and someone's completing you.It's when you miss someone even he's sitting besides you.It's when you feel so secure when he hugs you.It's when you had a fight, then you made-up and it calms you.It's when you hates it when he looks at someone else other than you.It's when you just see him, but you stuck on the phone with him soon as he's away from seeing you.It's when you smiles and thinks of him, and you know that he thinks of you too.It's when you feel so happy when the only thing he do is to cuddle you.It's when you look in his eyes and you see he needs you.It's when you know that he's the only one you want other than anyone else.

AND it's when he says "I LOVE YOU" and it makes you,your eyes,your heart fills with all tears of joy,happiness and lucky coz you have him to love you and to be loved by you in return.

Few of my own thoughts

2011-02-14T00:27:00.002+08:00

written by me on Friday, January 16, 2009 at 5:38pm

::Learning to love someone is better than loving someone who doesn't even learn to love you
::Wear shoes that fits you, comforts you, understands your feets well than trying very hard to wear pretty shoes which only hurt your feet
::Stop reminiscing the past, where you know you'll be happier forgetting it

Poetry in me

2011-02-14T00:20:00.002+08:00

Somehow I just love to write poetry.

Though I always forgot to write here in my blog.

Few of my poems..to be uploaded soon..

Ana Raffali - Tolong Ingatkan Aku

2011-01-22T15:01:00.001+08:00

Sejujurnya belum pernah mendengar dengan teliti lagu ini. Sejurus memenangi AJL 25 lalu, lagu ini diputar berulang-kali, diamati liriknya dan tidak salah rasanya mengatakan lagu ini memang layak untuk menang. Sememangnya penulis memang sukakan puisi bahkan cuba juga menulis puisi maupun sajak sendiri. Bait lirik lagu puitis, jujur dan tulen karya Ana Raffali ini memang ada isi. Meski muda, namun Ana mampu memberi rasa dalam karyanya. Dia bijak. Rasanya untuk menangkis soalan-soalan sensasi pihak-pihak yang tidak memihak karyanya diangkat sebagai juara tidak sukar baginya, mungkin.

Intro lagu ini indah sebenarnya. Lazim pemuzik akan menggunakan biola atau piano untuk menambah romantis, tapi Ana menggunakan double-bass. Adunan muzik dan garapan puisi indah menjadikannya sangat mesra. Saku Penyeluk Masa - Pocket Watch. Terus terang sebelum melihat klip video lagu ini, penulis membayangkan Ana akan menggunakan 'pocket watch' sebagai satu daripada props berkaitan. Dan ya, dia menggunakannya.

Amati puisi ini...fahaminya...

Jangan disusun kata-kata penamat
Jangan disebut baris ayat keramat
Biar lenyap diserap sunyi
Biar senyap yang tak menyepi

Tolong ingatkan aku
Kisah kau tersedar
Dengan saku penyeluk masa

Mari patahkan papan markah lama
Mari padamkan buku tiga lima
Biar luka sembuh sendiri
Biar lupa dimakan hari

Tolong ingatkan aku
Kisah kau tersedar
Dengan saku penyeluk masa

Kau dampingi aku
Setiap detik jantungku berdetak
Setiap nota jiwaku berlagu-lagu

Bila marah merasuk minda
Kecewa menyelubungi jiwa
Aku lupa

Tolong ingatkan aku
Kisah ku tersedar
Dengan kasih memeluk rasa

Ku teringatkanmu
Setiap detik jantungku berdetak
Setiap nota jiwaku berlagu-lagu

Tolong ingatkan aku kisah kita
Tolong ingatkan aku
Kisah ku tersedar
Dengan kasih memeluk rasa

Tolong ingatkan aku
Kisah kita

Mungkin Ana yang lebih memahami maksud disebalik karyanya. Namun menurut pandangan penulis, puisi ini berkisar tentang perhubungan lelaki/wanita dan rencah asam garam dalam perhubungan. Rencah dan asam garam ini yang menambah perisa dalam perhubungan. Pertelingkahan mungkin dapat lebih mengeratkan dan mampu membuatkan pasangan itu lebih menghargai perhubungan tersebut. Sepatutnya, amarah tidak perlu berpanjangan. Pertikaman lidah habis setakat disitu. Kenang kembali masa-masa indah. Ana mengajak kita untuk lebih baik menghapus dan membiarkan kekhilafan berlalu dari membiarkan ia meraja dalam perhubungan. Luka akan sembuh dimamah masa. Percayalah ia benar. Parut pasti akan sentiasa ada.

Hayatinya..ia memang indah. She's young but not too young to win. She's smart and because of that she manage to create a great labor of love. She deserves to win. Puisi ini sememangnya layak diangkat sebagai juara.

Kerja II

2010-12-27T16:52:00.002+08:00

Lagi pasal kerja...Sabar + Tangkas

Dah akhir-akhir tahun ni lazim company-company besar akan ada shutdown period. So bosanlah jadinya. Kerja menimbun getting lesser. Kalau dulu buat kerja laju-laju now bila terlaju skit cam speed kena dikurangkan. Sebab? Nanti dah tiada kerja pula yang nak dibuat.

Walau macam mana pun, sebenarnya topik Kerja II ni nak mengupas tentang kepantasan seseorang juga kecekapan left brain untuk pick-up things yang people ajar. Left brain ke? Entahlah, tak sempat belajar mendalam tentang anatomi..kihkih...ketangkasan juga bersangkut paut dengan tahap kesabaran ...tak faham? takpe-takpe..teruskan membaca...

Ni, sebut pasal ketangkasan+kesabaran, rasa-rasanya penulis memang seorang yang penyabar. Tapi satu je benda yang mungkin menguji kesabaran tahap "eii..budak ni aku shout-out award kang!!" ..ha..tahap begitula.. Kenapa? Sebabnya satu sebab yang benar-benar boleh menguji tahap kesabaran iaitu berhadapan dengan manusia yang slow. Pick-up slow and when we have to teach them same things over and over again!! Wuarr..tolonglah takkan seslow itu. Sampai penulis ter-sound la "You need to catch-up fast, if not habisla they will ask you to leave" Wahh....cam bagus je nak sound2 orang kan..tak kisahlah, look at the positive side. Sound yang sekadar as a reminder supaya jaga kerja. It's not easy to find job out there. So bila dapat please be effectively efficient. Ingat apa yang di ajar. Practise and keep doing it so you wont forget.

Sabar..sabar...yes..sabar..I am patience...but in a situation like this I can be quite rigid verbally and can see it in my face. I am easily get annoy with people like this.

Kerja

2010-12-12T13:50:00.001+08:00

"Akak kerja mana?"

..."Akak kerja kat ...."

"Kerja sebagai apa?"

..."sebagai ...."

"Kat tempat akak takde nak guna orang ke?"

..soalan ketiga hanya mampu dijawab dengan senyuman dan gelengan kepala.

Bukan mudah nak cari kerja sekarang. Lebih-lebih lagi apabila dah terlalu ramai candidates yang lebih bijak, berpengalaman dan paling penting sebenarnya luck. If no luck, no matter how smart you are, how many years of experiences you had pun tak guna. Kalau dilihat corak permohonan kerja sekarang pun tidak pantas kalau tiada orang dalam. Means kalau ada sedara mara, pakcik, makcik, daddy, mummy, etc maka susah juga job nak sangkut.

Calon di atas baru sampai KL 2 minggu dari Pantai Timur. Kelulusan SPM. Dia kemudiannya mengeluh, "Susahlah nak cari kerja sekarang kak".... Bibir ini hanya mampu tersenyum lagi. Sedangkan mereka yang ada ijazah, diploma baru grad pun susah nak ampu kerja inikan yang hanya ada SPM dan tiada pengalaman kerja langsung. Bukan nak cakap orang SPM tu tak bagus, cumanya kalau hendak berhijrah ke kota, maka bersedialah dengan saingan yang maha hebat.

Cadangan penulis kepada girl Pantai Timur ini ialah cuba-cubalah cari kerja dan ambil pengalaman as a promoter dahulu. Sekadar untuk menyabung hidup di kota memandangkan dari gayanya nampak sangat teruja untuk berdikari di bumi Kuala Lumpur ini. Soalan seterusnya kepada girl ni, "Kalau takde juga kerja..balik kampung???" soalan tidak berjawab, matanya hanya merenung kelibat manusia yang kehulu-hilir, mundar-mandir di stesen lrt malam itu...

Moral of the story : Jangan mudah putus asa, rezeki ada di mana-mana. Tak semestinya di kota besar. Kalau penulis adalah girl tu, lebih pantas jika terus bermastautin di bumi kelahiran. Cari kerja di sana. Sekurang-kurangnya soru tak miss selalgi belum dapat peluang pekerjaan. Sambung la study jika berkemampuan. Tak rugi selagi ada ilmu di dada...

Salam Maal Hijrah 1432

2010-12-06T22:12:00.000+08:00

Terharu mendengar ingatan ikhlas seorang teman petang tadi. "Sha, jangan lupa doa akhir tahun" ....Memang tidak lupa. Menanti-nanti saat sesudah Asar untuk doa tersebut. Dan harapnya esok selepas Maghrib, permulaan tahun baru hijrah 1432 dapatlah membaca doa awal tahun pula.InsyaAllah...

Semoga tahun baru maal hijrah 1432 membawa kebaikan untuk semua. Amin...

Live in the Present, not Future, not Past

2010-12-05T11:13:00.002+08:00

I've been thinking a lot. Lately..especially when it comes to life. Will we live longer than we expect to be. Or our life will end soon when He calls.We will never know when those time come.Death ends everything.Will people weeping or smiling?

So do us. Live in the present. Not future. Not past. Live life today as today is the last day you'll live. Leave all those past you had. Leaving doesn't mean forgetting. But also doesn't mean that you've to remember. Only those happy moments should bring in present. To be kept as a precious unforgettable moments. Appreciate whatever comes around now. Never regrets. Cause it leads you nowhere. Change. Yes, it is exactly what should you do if you still regrets of something. So you won't regret for not doing anything in your present when you are in your future. Life is full of something. Something that means everything. Delete the "if" word when we live in present. "If" is just for those who always regrets and those who never learn to appreciate things.

Planning is fine. Always plan for the future. But never live in the future. Cause we as human has never know what God plans for us although we had planned everything. when He wants it to change, it will change slightly and dramatically. Who are we to refuse the changes. Changes happen in seconds, minutes or in a very short moment. Sometimes we don't even notice.

So live in the present.Cause if we live and appreciate the present, the future will soon be great. Hopefully...forget the past...

A Year Pass By

2010-12-01T23:05:00.003+08:00

...Bismillahirahmanirrahim...

It's been a long long time since I last blogging.A year I guess.Your last post is on 2nd December 2009.What a coincidence today. As I go through my blog and noticed that I did not write and update for a year!!!Wow...so amazing especially for someone who usually has so much idea and things to express and write.

I've been busy for the past 2009 and 2010.Ermmm...busy with work, relocation and work again.Life OK, Love OK,Work stress..eughhh...can't wait for another 6 months to pass by and try something else.I'm kind of person who will never satisfy I guess.Patience I am.Yes, I can say so especially during this time that really needs me to be patience.Accept everything half-hearted.Do whatever I can do as long its still on track.ONLY that me myself didn't know how long the patience will last...*sigh

....later...TBC

Bismillahirrahman nirrahim

2009-12-02T16:51:00.002+08:00

Wahhh...pejam celik..pejam celik...tak sangka masa berlalu. CEPATNYA!! *smile*

Three ermm should I say almost four months pass by without any blog update. WHY?WHY?WHY? Hahah....coz it seems nothing to brag about. Nothing to share? huh! ALOT!!! but dunno where to start.... *smile*

It's almost end of 2009. I do admit this is not a blossoming years for me. Penuh kekecewaan?kedukaan?kesedihan?owhh please..please...enough with sadness and all those negative side of my life.

As mentioned this blog is about life and love. And of course those aspects around my circle of life. Boring? Then don't read..ha!ha! ;P

Life
Not much differences.Except for that I am someone's wife middle of this year. Someone's mommy? Not yet. Bak kata orang melayu "belum rezeki cik jah oiii"... ;)
There's so many many things I've experienced and learnt.Though I am still learning on how to become a wife. Noble wife? ermm I hope so. ;) So many things I go through in my few months of marriage. Which I believed I am way too young to go through those experiences. Though it's hard, I do believe, it teach me something. I am strong I guess. Even stronger than before. More mature should I say. But sometime as a normal person I slipped. I can only smile and be patience. Went through before and going through now. I just hope and pray for the best in my life. If it is meant to be than its meant to be right? ;)

Career
On January,the department restructuring has made me BUSY. Busy to learn all those products. learning without going nowhere! very disspointed! It means no career growth and movement.Sangat tak best occay...ermm...so I am in the middle of finding a new job.Should I say new career? Job/Career which promise me a movement in the organization. And of course to be given a chance learning lots of new things, technique,skills which I should deploy for my career. I do think I shouldn't stands static here. Eughh....so not me...I guess,I have to re-plan my life and career. Further study is the best right? Where to? ermm...shall be decide later... ;)

"Allah Swt takkan menguji hamba-Nya diluar kemampuan..Maka hadapilah karena semua ujian pasti akan mampu kita hadapi..Dan bersabarlah karena Allah Swt selalu bersama org2 yg sabar ..Innallaaha ma'ashshabiriin.."

2009-07-16T15:29:00.002+08:00

Sekadar menulis..

Bibir hanya mampu tersenyum dan bersabar mendengar segalanya. Minda berfikir, apa tujuan dia berbuat begitu. Ikutkan hati, mahu saje ditempelak diterjah dia dan memaksanya bercerita letak duduk perkara sebenar. TAPI, diajak berjumpa ada saje alasannya. Takut? Kenapa? Bercerita dekat orang perkara berkenaan orang lain tidak takut? Bercerita yang tidak benar tidak takut? Pelik! Kalau benar kawan rapat, berat sangat bibir untuk bertanya.Mungkin..

Biar susah bagaimanapun kami, sekurangnya kami berdiri di atas kaki sendiri. Semuanya dibayar sendiri. Tidak perlu orang lain membayar walhal itu bukan milik kami. Tidak perlu mendongak ke langit, jika kaki yang berdiri bukan berdiri atas bumi sendiri. Tidak perlu berkata pasal orang lain jika diri sendiri juga tidak sesempurna Siti Khadijah. Cermin diri sebelum memberi cermin dirimu yang retak untuk orang lain mencermin diri. Apa guna jika luaran cantik, tapi dalaman huh! tidak perlu diperkatakan disini. Rela membuang jauh persahabatan dari mencemar tercela dek kata hasad dengki. Iri hati? Perlukah? Kerana rasanya hidupmu sudah sangat bertuah tatkala ini. Sedikit tidak pernah cemburu malah gembira jika dirimu senang, mewah. TAPI tidak usah bercakap mengenai orang lain, jika segala kemewahan itu bukan hasil titik peluh dirimu sendiri.

Dan yang paling penting sekurang-kurangnya bahu ini bersandar pada seseorang yang sah, biar bagaimanapun dia..biar bagaimanapun diri ini.Bukan seperti dirimu, berpaut pada dahan yang bukan milikmu..tidak rasa bersalahkah?????

Ular!

2009-06-10T12:26:00.005+08:00

This was the first time I experienced pegang ular. Dengan tangan sendiri! This snake has no name. Karna tuannya kata, snake cannot hear, so why bother named it. Ermm...betul gak....

At first before pegang, tertanya-tanya how it feels. I mean the skin tu macam mana rasanya. Rupanya, taklah macam yang disangka. Kulit dia licin dan takdelah bersisik sangat pun. But serious readers, ular ni memang berat. Bila dia melingkar nak belit badan je terus rasa cuak semacam!Wuahaha...yelah, kang tak pasal dia terus ngap, kita lagi ngap!

dari pandangan bawah...dia menjulur-julur taknak duduk diam... ;)

kepala ular tu agak besar gak la. Funniest thing is, suami pun tak nak pegang ular ni. Takutlah tu.. ;)

Wedding..Wedding..Wedding..

2009-06-08T11:38:00.003+08:00

These past 2 weeks I've attended few weddings reception.Guess, when it comes to school holiday, this was the best time for a blissfull wedding reception and solemnization. So and so, after my reception on 23rd May 2009 ago, I think I have been attending 4 to 5 kenduri and makan2.Seriously my appetite grows bigger nowadays, especially when it comes to nasi and lauk pengantin...

Just wanna share some shot from yesterday and 2 days ago wedding.

bernyanyi riang nak makan free... ngeee

6/6/2009-taman bukit teratai wedding..my sayang's neighbour ..

6/6/2009-Pusat Komuniti Damasara ..Sue & Erwannor's wedding

with sue..ex-dormmate while i was in UPM matrix

7/6/2009 - Bandar Tasik Puteri Rawang, Zaina & Aman's wedding.she was my ex-schoolmate since standard one till form 3.. ;)

Happy married to all of you.For those freinds yang still single, you turn will come.I pray the best for all of you..

My MAY cont

2009-06-03T10:33:00.003+08:00

From my last post,I wrote that so many things happened to me in May.My..my.. MAY.Ok, these were those things.

1)Starting food stall

VERY BUSY with day work and night work, seriously tired ;)

2)Busy with wedding preparation

Wedding invitation card lambat siap!Lepas tu salah colour, serious rasa nak menangis je but since it has been delayed so we agree to have those cards even with discounted price pun it doesn't satisfy me.Wedding dress still tak siap.As record, I don't even know how it looks like.Kak Yati(Boutique owner) told me it will be long, lacy redNwhite wedding dress.Luckily it fits well and sewn beautifully.. ;)

3)Mama went for her major canser operation

This was the most HUGE thing happened to me.I felt so down especially the operation needs to be done 2 weeks before my wedding, well it can be done after the wedding actually, but since my auntie insist the operation needs to be done immediately,tak boleh cakap apalah.

So just imagine, I was so very occupied with all these things on that particular month.Birthday celebration pun just go makan-makan dengan Azidi and my bro after habis berniaga.

Kental jiwa kan?!Alhamdulillah, everything goes/went well.Mama recovered and still recovering.And I shall pray for the best of all those things happened to me..InsyaAllah ada hikmah atas semuanya...Amin

Ed's Char Ko-teow

2009-06-03T09:53:00.003+08:00

It's been two months I think we've started the business.Berniaga kecil-kecilan, who knows might become besar-besaran someday.InsyaAllah!

We started to run this stall half month after our engagement on March 8th.I shall say that we've put many effort in order to make this successfull.Of course maaa...modal jer dah ratusan donk.So far the business is quite ok.Alhamdulillah.There's ups and down.It's normal when you run food business whereas not everyday people makan luar.So and so,we do have our regular customers and new customers become regular!So I must say that our Ko-Teow is yummy! Taste it then believe it!

Rasa-rasa nak cuba, mai la to our stall located in Pandan Indah... ;)

Jangan Tegur

2009-06-03T09:32:00.004+08:00

Ok..It's been awhile since I last watching movie.Semalam balik dari berniaga, me and Azidi agree to watch this movie "Jangan Tegur" lakonan Julia Ziegler(hope I spell it right).At first, I was some sort of lazy plus sleepy coz I have to wake up early to work the next morning.Still, coz sayangkan suami, ok2 I accompany him.

So and so.The story is quite interesting.For certain scenes, ada tiru a bit of Thai and Japan horror movies.Biasalah Malaywood, Bollywood sometimes suka meniru.But anyway, since ya told ya that I haven't watch movie for awhile, especially horror movies, seram sejuk gak.And of course, I still remember a few scenes till I woke-up this morning for work.Takut uolss, tapi aghhh if fikir takut, tak sampai pejabatlah jawabnya.. ngeeeeee

This is not about the movie that we watched.Mostly is about us.I am a newly married couple.So I've learnt a thing or two about my husband.And last nite was quite funny when I found out that he is penakut juga.Wuahahah....well biasalah, he won't admit but I know he is.Nahh..not la penakut sangat atleast berani sikit dari diri ini.So cute when after the movie we both went to the kitchen and bathroom together.I teman U, U teman I.Tak sangka, gagah2 penakut juga suamiku ni.And eishh, macam manalah malam ni.As usual I have to prepare dinner for him and should I stay at home or as usual pergi kedai so I won't be alone at home.Wuarrrr....takut la plak.I never been scared before especially after watching horro movies.But dah lama tak tengok, rasa cam takut.

Errkk.....

The Solemnization-Reception

2009-06-02T16:46:00.005+08:00

Date:23rd May 2009

Venue:Green House for Solemnization; Pandan Lake Club for Wedding Reception

Ok, guess that probably this was too soon for me to share the event stories.Firstly cause I'm still waiting for the snaps from the cameraman.Heard from Papa, the camera person delighted to give me 2 big frames of the most beautiful shot taken.

Alhamdulillah, everything went well.Though mama still battling with after-operation dizzyness plus fever, she was still sitting,waiting there during my reception.Thanks to all friends for all the lovely gifts and for spending precious time to attend the reception ceremony.Love all of you and thanks again!

the solemnization - my sayang, my life, my suami

one of fav own camera picture

with my BFF bridesmaid Eizuhaida Aziz

The presents..

I shall share more pictures soon I get the rest of it..

My MAY

2009-05-18T11:44:00.004+08:00

So today will be my last day working as a single, bachelorette lady.Yet, I have left most of my favourite activities during the period of my preparation towards another stage of life.Time running so fast.I don't even notice it has run and helped me to forget all the sorrows.I hope it's worth and I do understand that I have to sacrifice something to get something better in return.

So and so, I have to go through the hardest time on my way of preparation.Only GOD knows what I've been through right now.Though to share those things, I wish to share it soon after the solemnization and reception complete.

MAY is my month I think.Really mine.AND everything happens in MAY.I hope to have full strength to face all the obstacles.A friend said "Allah akan berikan ujian terhadap hamba-Nya yang Dia sayangi".Hope what she said is true.Good luck me!Hope everything goes fine!InsyaAllah...

TwentyNine

2009-05-04T12:38:00.003+08:00

So..I am one year older...Thanks for all the wishes and thought I'd received.Ok, tepat 12AM, sayang wished me "Happy Birthday". Thanks for the minnie mouse on top cake sayang.I can see loves growing and InsyaAllah, we'll be together as one end of this month.Harap semuanya berjalan lancar...So do cD yang mesti bersengkang mata menunggu tepat jam umahnya berdetik ke angka 12.Dengan suara serak2 payau(baget rock la tu) menyanyikan lagu birthday..And thanks also to your entry cD..really appreciate it!Kindest, cutest bro and friend that I have ever met.. ;) and the rest of frens who wished me happy birthday, thanks so much... ;)

My wish?Let just keep it to myself... ;)

Love
Shasha

Sibuk

2009-04-20T12:15:00.003+08:00

Wuahaha...lama tak update blog..sebab???
1) Sibuk dengan KT and Training yang ntah hapa ntah..as the integration plan started, I don;t even know what's to integrate anyway... kuikuikui
2) Sibuk dengan wedding preparation ..erkk sibuk ker???kuikuikui...yer ahhh!!But alhamdulillah, everything goes smoothly.. *ngeeee
3) Sibuk dengan future life plan..which way to go best..kuikuikui..but still the best way claims the hardest path..
4) Sibuk dengan my sayang..eiii gatalnya...

YANG paling benar-sebenar-benarnya ialah MALAS..wuahaha..plus I've got nothing to write down though..feels like 24hours a day tak cukup je...huhuhu

Stranger Within Us

2009-04-03T11:11:00.002+08:00

Sometime we didn't understand ourselves.What we want.What we need.What exactly lead to our happiness.

Those days, the old good days, I always think that life wasn't so difficult.Live it happily, without knowing and realizing that certain circumstances can give big impact to life.Though it's hard, we've to learn the hardest.Learnt and experienced in order to become more wiser as age is getting older.But still the stranger threw the voices.It feels like someone else is talking, thinking inside with questions as "Is it really what you want?Are you sure?No doubt?Think twice?Think again?" LOL!So many questions from this stranger in within us.Which I believe we also do not know how to answer.Despites all the arguement, laughter, tears all in one ball of life. Nevertheless, we should be thankful.If it wasn't because of this stranger, we wouldn't know what we really want.In order to reach the highest,greatest level of happiness, the stranger voices changed the perception on our need.On what we really want.As in life, live to the fullest.

For me, this stranger completes me.It gave me lots of questions, queries which I know the answers...at last.... ;)

HATI

2009-03-20T11:03:00.003+08:00

Kadang-kadang sukar untuk mentafsir apa yang tersirat dihati.Mungkin bukan kadang-kadang tapi selalunya, ya perkataan itu lebih tepat sekali.Bagaiamana bisa kita menelah apa yang tersirat dihati, difikiran seseorang semntelah kita tidak punya masa untuk memikirkan walau perasaan sendiri.
On my way of preparation, macam-macam pendapat, pandangan perlu diambil kira.Bak kata orang, kita umpama pendengar yang setia.Mana yang elok ya boleh dijadikan guidance, mana yang rasa tidak sesuai dengan occasion, put on exception first.Hinggakan perasaan sendiri bila difikir-fikir ermm..tidak terjaga.Kerana mahu memuaskan hati semua orang.
Seram sejuk sebenarnya.Nervous mungkin juga.Kenapa?Ermm..siapa tidak gigil menanti hari bahagia.Pelbagai isu bermain di benak minda.Tapi hati perlu gigih.Jiwa perlu kental.Minda perlu mantap.Selagi boleh berfikir, segalanya tip-top InsyaAllah...
Hati Ini...hanya Allah S.W.T yang lebih mengetahui...

Pertunangan

2009-03-10T12:04:00.006+08:00

Green House Datok Keramat
8/3/2009

12PM

Alhamdulillah..segalanya berjalan dengan lancar.Syukur ke hadrat Ilahi kerana mempermudahkan urusan pada tengahari itu.Sekarang diri ini sudah bergelar tunangan orang!Yehaaa....tunangan kepada Encik Azidi yang sangat2 disayangi dan dicintai.Cuaca pun baik, terang benderang pada hari bermakna itu.Saat tiba cincin disarungkan, macam kelakar dan masih tidak percaya bilamana jari-jemari ini tiba2 bersinar.Make-up...ermm...kurang suka sebab rasa macam heavy though abg lan cakap light make-up je.But still rasa gembira sebab bakal mak mertua cakap 'U look so sweet, just like a princess"..auww....princess uolss..tak kuasa!

Lord of the rings...

Tertunduk malu tatkala menunggu sesi ramah mesra selesai..

Inilah sayangku..Azidi Abdullah...slurrpppp....I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! (sorry uolss terjiwang..)

Dengan hantaran untuk pihak Azidi..jangan tak tau, custom made by myself.If any of you nak tempah, sila hubungiku ok.. ;)

Mama yang gigih memasak dan bertungkus lumus untuk majlis ini..Terima kasih mama...

My sister..Syareena...dan bawah ni my sister in law..

Thanks to all my closest frens yang datang.. Amrina, Hidayah, Eizu dan Farah..They are all my closest frens hence I invited them though..2,3 orang yang tidak dapat hadir, terima kasih juga atas ucapan sms uolss...

Doakan kami bahagia ya semua...hingga sampai syurga..

Finally to my friend, my homie, my love, my heart, my fiance ... you are everything to me and thanks for being part of my life.You are always my "Cahaya Cinta"...

p/s: entry ini agak jiwang so jgn muntah uolsss... kuikuikui

My Termination of Love

2009-02-15T21:33:00.004+08:00

2009-01-30T11:02:00.003+08:00

Sebulan sebuah karya..Ok ka? kuikuikui...well..well..well...tak banyak masa untuk menjadi kaki karya seperti dahulu. Selain tak punya banyak idea juga menjadi salah satu alasan kukuh kenapa dan mengapa blog ini tidak dikemaskini. Maafin ya!!! Ngeeee...

Okay..sebulan dari karya terakhir tak silap 19 disember 2008, macam-macam perkara yang berlaku. Betul kata orang-orang lama, pejam celik pejam celik sekejap saja masa berlalu.Ermm..pelik bila menulis dalam bahasa melayu pekat, makanya wahhh arghhh tukar saja la konsep penulisan ni....teruskan membaca ya!

Ermm..okay2, akhir disember 2008,I've met someone.I mean really "someone". Jeng..jeng..jeng!!!! Well for those yang dah tau, I believe its all because "the announcement" tak rasmi terpapar dalam facebook. So offically now, I announce that hatiku telah berpunya!yuks!!very the mengada-ngada kan nak kena announce.But anyway, siapa peduli ini karya I, sukahati i lah..ngeeeeee........

Perlukah ada kronologi bagi setiap bibit pertemuan?Ermm...twit2! Macam penulisan dulu-dulu pula. Cumanya kali ini kronologi ini tidak perlu ada pengakhiran. Biarlah permulaan yang baik ini berterusan sampai syurga. Bak lagu Faizal Tahir ala yang menang Vokal Terbaik AJL 23 baru-baru ini.Ermmm..terbaik ker????!!! hahaha...

Finally, dapat kujejakkan kakiku ke bendang. Even sekarang musim menuai (orang cabut-cabut padi) tapi tak mengapa asalkan dapat melihat sendiri secara langsung rupa bendang tu. Owhh..minggu lepas, cuti raya cina pergi Alor Setar.Jeng..jeng..jeng..sesi suai kenal uolzzzz dengan bakal mertua..And doakan ya InsyaAllah perhubungan baik ini berkekalan..

More good news SOON!!! ;)

Tata 2008

2008-12-19T09:45:00.003+08:00

Sayonara, Goodbye, Hasta La Vista 2008...
In just few days, we'll be leaving 2008. Starting 2009 with new resolutions.Yeah!Yeah!

1)Work out!! Hnnss..hnss...wanna be slim, slender and gorgeous..have to!must must!

2)Keep hair long, then highlight, give it a better shape, better cut..

3)Face..ermm..learn to makeup, paint here, paint there..tada!! well atleast it doesn't look like makcik larrrr..

4)Work Hard!work!work!work!-middle Jan will be starting same role in a new management with new package $$$$$$$ woahh! semangat ni nak kerja ;)

5)Love - ermm..ermmm..jeng jeng jeng we'll see where it goes, just let it go with the flow

6)Holiday!!!Yay!!!planning for trip/s-Island across Malaysia, Borneo also included in the list, Bandung with Ain, Bali with syg2...etc..etc

7)Education-feels like doing my master, if have any chance and spare time..InsyaAllah

8)Qassim-I love him so so much.Tint it, polish once a month, cuci every week, service every 2 months, change rim!!!InsyaAllah..need to save lotsa lotsa money and spend it on Qassim...

Lastbut not least, family-spend my quality time more with family.Coz whatever it is, they are my backbone of strength.. ;)

ermm....the rest of the list...ermmm *thinking

Perkahwinan Yang Sempurna - The Perfect Wedding

2008-10-29T08:55:00.010+08:00

Monday 27th Oktober 2008
Location : Dewan Perdana Felda

This wasn't the first time I am here attending a wedding reception. This year, I think I've been here almost 3 times. However tonight it seems different. It was a promise of a lifetime of my good friend Amrina and her husband Kurt.The theme is lilac, and lucky that I have this kebaya from previous my sister reception last year where they had the same theme only with a different concept.

Kad jemputan perkahwinan

Cahaya indah, cozy environment, great food.It was night with love.Yes, I can see that through the eyes of the bride and groom. The Bride - Nurul Amrina atau lebih dikenali sebagai Am aka Amma. That night when they walked to the parlour dengan iringan selawat dari kumpulan In-Team, I can tell that everybody amazed with her. Yes!She was so so beautiful and will always beautiful. The Groom also tak kurang hebatnya. Who's lucky to have whom? Is it Kurt who won Am's heart, "dara jelita bak kata pengacara malam tu" to be his wife or Am sebenarnya yang bertuah memiliki Kurt as her husband. I think the answers only they can tell. ;)

After the cutting cake ceremony

Ambil berkat bak kata orang-orang tua.. ;)

Bergambar kenangan bersama The Bride Puan Amrina dan Hidayah ;)

Penulis blog

Bersama Hidayah yang cantik berkebaya nyonya malam itu

Hidayah and Harry, semoga bahagia la hendaknya

Amrina, I am so happy for you. Ternyata, wanita yang baik adalah untuk lelaki yang baik, begitu juga sebaliknya. ;) And yet, Am I want you to know that from the first time I saw your man, I know he's the best for you. ;) Good luck my dear friend in your new life. The gift that I gave you, silalah baca yer. Told you that I wont get you a tea set, dinner set, etc..etc...but I did get you a card and a collection of prayer so you may use it.

Life..life..life..

2008-10-22T08:44:00.002+08:00

Tak banyak benda yang boleh dikongsikan bersama tentang kehidupan sekarang.Tapi yang pastinya, I am happy!With bunch of friends and family who never failed to give support and wrap their love towards me, I feel blessed!Ekekek...yeah, I am always smiling.Yet a cheerfull and happy person like me should always have right?
Frankly, all those bad memories, with those people or should I say peopleS, deleted one by one. Throw to the dustbin, takde nak recycle-recycle bin lagi dah.Ahahaha....And yet, I maybe has someone right now.I said "Maybe" OK????!!!
Arr..arrr...don't jump to any conclusion that I really have someone when I keep replying sms, answering calls or whatsoever.It just friends and still I consider as "friends" ;)

HOWEVER, two days ago, that perempuan or should I say betina send msg to one of my good friend.Ek eleh, kecoh betul betina tu, if I can ever slap her on her face and makes her sedar diri sikit than I will satisfy.Ops..I maybe sounds harsh and rigid kan, but what she did to me, its lagilah very rude and impolite.I guess, its been few months already but why still wanna bring up the 'stupid if ever I knew this thing will happened I;m very sure don't wanna kenal him' story.Bak orang kata, yang sudah tu sudahlah, she got what she wants, which I don't give a damn anymore and still nak msg my friend for what reason I don't know. Readers..seriously, I tak tahu how narrow minded she is to handle the situation like this and I must say that if I bump into her, and if she plays kind and insulting me again, I will of course slap her hard on her face. Macam aku kisah pun mamat kurus kering tu...eiiii...while he was the one who looked for me and unlike that stupid betina, I respect their 'suci la sangat relationship' so I walked away with dignity but still I have to remind that stupid mamat not to call me anymore.Rimasnyerrr..

Whatever it is, I know that I have to be patience. With God's willing I will meet someone else. But readers, frankly, I am not ready yet for any commitment. So let just enjoy life and fill it with everything that can bring happiness...

Hari Minggu Yang Panjang 2

2008-10-21T10:03:00.005+08:00

Saturday 18/10/2008
12 midnite onwards!Haha!
Location : Adalarrrrr... (Various)

Me and friends went out for "joget".Yeah when it comes to the occasion, we will use terms "joget" as we are very fond of dancing.No..no..not that we are a dancing queen, but its one of our way to ease our tense upon works!
So here are few pictures taken on that nite..To Reel if you happen to read this, don't get jealous ok? Someday when your next visit to KL, maybe we'll go joget together...

Sunday 19/10/2008
Location : Shah Alam & KJ

Went out for Open House held by my ex-schoolmate from MRSM.Penat sikit coz I was the one who has to drive all over the way despites the co-pilot yang tak reti jalan sampai sesat2!Eughhh geram gila tapi mak kena bersabar banyak2.
Shah Alam - House of Dentist akak perasan eurasian la konon.But he's quite handsome and still available.Any readers yang nak berkenalan, please feel free to contact me so I can arrange blind date with you and him.Hahaha...

Owhh itu anak buah si pemilik kediaman yang suka jer nak interframe..

And after that we went to Adzril's house.Macam biasa mak sorang jerlah pompuan yang terselit.hahaha...sebab yang lain-lain either dah kepit anak or kepit husband..

So..later!Another entry will come..ermm..sentap2 skit kot..ekekek

Hari Minggu Yang Panjang

2008-10-14T13:11:00.006+08:00

Sabtu : 11 Oktober 2008
Location:KLCC
ekekek...titipan dimulai dengan ketawa mesra gwe.Mesra ke?Ya mungkin, untuk siapa2 saje yang mahu mesra dan boleh bermesra dengan diri ini.
Ya..hari minggu yang panjang. Outing dengan Amrina dan Hidayah.Tujuan?ermm..Amrina ining menitipkan undangan kartu perkahwinannya, yang mana akhirnya tak titip juga.Kartu tertinggal dalam kereta.Ermm..nampaknya kenalah ngedate lagi lepas ni.3 of us went for movie.Kami The Movie.Filem ini mengingatkan pada Kami The Series yang ditayangkan di 8TV yang mana menjadi favourite series gwe dgn manten pacar gwe...ekeke..but I am still happy coz had this chance to watch this with my besties!!!! After moie, we went down to KLCC Park.I think its been quite sometimes I haven't come here(KLCC0.Too many memories dowh!!
But anyway..ha..tgkla pic kami yg cumil2 ni..auww perasan!!

Ahad:12 Oktober 2008
Location:Redbox Pavilion $ Umah Abg Eq(Berayala kunun)
Ahad pulak dah plan date dgn 3 jejaka teman baikku ni.Ermm...sempat melayan Reel n cD karaoke thou macam tahu jer dah lama gw tak karaoke.ekeke..suara pun kelaut la gamaknya.hahahah...tgklah si cD n Reel berposing manja ni..ececehhh....

Lepas tu kitorang pergi makan!!! ekeke..trimas yer Abang eQ..dan Zizi sebab masak sedap2..

p/s:gambar pic makan2 kat umah abg Eq sila tgk blo cD n abg eQ..ekekeke
(X boleh nak upload dah)

Lebaran

2008-10-06T11:29:00.004+08:00

Salam Lebaran diucapkan kepada semua. Samada berlebaran di kota ataupun desa. Wahhh...keles..cam ucapan dalam kad raya. Lebaran tahun ni disambut penuh sederhana. Malam raya penat pasang langsir yg berjela-jela panjangnya.Eishh kalau ada rumah sendiri taknaklah letak tingkap. Biar takyah beli langsir. Wuahaha..Seperti biasa, isi kuih raya dalam balang dah menjadi kontrak rutin setiap raya. Entah berkesempatan atau tidak melakukan rutin yang sama pada raya akan datang. Hanya Tuhan yang Maha Mengetahui.

Tahun ni, bertambah lagi satu pusara untuk diziarahi. Arwah Yayi, Nyayi dan yang paling terbaru arwah Igol. Masih tak dapat menerima hakikat pemergiannya. Basah selendang dek airmata yang tak putus bercucuran. Rasa insaf terbit dari hati kecil ini. Masakan tidak, arwah sebaya usia tetapi Allah lebih menyayanginya. Tiba giliran diri ini, terlintas difikiran, bagaimana riak dan reaksi mereka yang mengunjungi pusara ini nanti.

Raya tahun ini seperti biasa raya sebelumnya. Raya pertama tak menang tangan melayan sanak sedara. Menjelang tengah hari badan dah rasa penat sangat. Yelah, penat berkemas malam sebelumnya pun tak habis lagi. Tak sempat nak bergambar satu keluarga. Pagi-pagi rumah dah diserbu, nak bergegas ke pusara lagi.

Pic sila lihat blog cD n abg eQ..hahaha....

2008-09-04T10:27:00.003+08:00

Sudah lama tidak menulis dalam ni. Lantaran kesibukan berkeja menghalang jemari ini untuk menaik baris ayat merangkap blog untuk tatapan diri sendiri. Hahaha..no..no..I wrote for myself actually. And it depends on people if they want to read they are welcome to do so.. ;)

Somehow, my life are quite happy. Though sometimes, masih ada terasa sisa-sisa kesedihan yang berbaki dari pengalaman semalam. Kalau dihitung hari dan bulan yang menjengah, wah lagi 4 bulan rasanya bakal diredah tahun baru 2009. Jadi dalam 4 bulan akan datanag, I have to struggle hard for myself. Harus dikutip semangat yang bertaburan supaya lebih cenderung ke arah kebaikan. Menjadi insan lebih baik. ;)

I've met new frens. Foes?haha....not me. One whom are very kind to me and always lend me her ears, Ain. Thank you. Though I know she know nothing about my blog. ;)

Kehidupan sekarang biasa-biasa sahaja. Tanggal 22-24 Ogos lepas, sempat juga bercuti ke Pulau Redang. Makan angin, tujuannya untuk melupakan segala-galanya, dan tinggalkan segala kenangan itu di Redang. Tak masuk akalkan? ;) Kerana sepulangnya ke KL, masih diri ini memikirkan kenangan itu. ya, cuma ia semakin pudar. Thanks Allah! ;) Mama sendiri cakap, tidak akan dapat melupakan dalam sekelip mata, ambil masa untuk semua ini. Yang penting harus belajar untuk menerima hakikat. Ya, sudah tentu!I am strong otherwise, God will not pick me up for this test. ;)

Balik Redang, at Ida's office my hands trembling. Tried very hard to hide what I felt inside when I heard the news. Khabar yang meruntun jiwa. Haha..macam ayat dalam novel melayu. Yes, somehow I feel sad, and happy at once. And accept God's fate that written in His book they will be spending life together forever. Ermm.. me? I rather not to think about it anymore. ;)

Ok2...but anyhow, I wnder why I met with lots of men who have sort of same problem. Makes me think that, ermm lelaki ni macam tak tau buat keputusan sendiri ke dalam menentukan yang terbaik dalam kehidupan mereka. Dan yang paling buat diri ini terfikir, kenapa usia dijadikan faktor bahawa sangat lambat untuk memulakan sesuatu yang baru. Kalau diikutkan, setiap orang tidak mahu untuk memulakan sesuatu yang baru. Start everything from zero. Ermm..well it depends on the individual.I think its better to start with zero, with new person than trying very hard to fix the broken mirror. Which in the end, diri sendiri akan terluka. Kerana, I had those experiences myself. Akhirnya diri sendiri yang terluka dan payahnya hanya Tuhan yang tahu untuk cuba mengekang kesakitan itu. ;)

But anyway..harap semua berbahagia. Ramadhan kali ini, anggaplah ia sebagai ramadhan terakhir supaya kita sentiasa beringat akan ketentuan Tuhan. We will never know when out time will come..

Homecoming Queen?

2008-09-04T10:20:00.002+08:00

No, I am not a queen.Though I felt happy these few days despise all the sadness and sorrow that has came through my life this whole year of 2008. I am coming back to where I learn a lot of things about work. I made a promise to myself that I wont leave it again. Yes, after 6 months combating with my own desire, trrying to find what I really want to do in my life especially when it realted to work, then I realized that my heart still belongs to here. Hewlett Packard... ;)

Yes, I've treasured a lot and gained many experiences when I left HP. Some are goods some are not very good. But I take it all as 'things' that I should learnt. It's not that I don;t like my previous skincare company, but due to certain issues I decided that I have to leave them. Just hope they will be ne of the most successful skincare company and I know they deserves to be the best when all efforts has been put through. Good luck bosses! ;)

I am sitting on a chair, in front of me a laptop but now I'm bored as all IDs are not yet complete created..

But anyway, I pray luck will come all through my life..

Lot 10 Event

2008-07-07T17:56:00.005+08:00

I am sooooo tired working! Feels like applying leaves but I know if I go on leave there must be piles of work on my desk. And got lots of things to think of and go through. Hope my bosses would not accept those event at Malacca as it sort of last minute though!Arghh letih2..but I kind of like my work and soon will have assistance to assist me. ;) And I hope I can climb fast the ladder of victory and succeed in my career. Wish me ya! Owhh this is my pic with those freelancer..

Omong

2008-06-26T12:33:00.003+08:00

Tak dapat rasanya nak menulis sehari satu blog.Minggu lepas, sibuk bekerja tak ada masa untuk diri sendiri apa lagi untuk orang lain. Kepada cD maaf yer, SaCHa belum sampai lagi di MidValley masa cD call tu. Rasa malas sangat nak pergi kerja tapi dek kerana tanggungjawab haruslah menghadirkan diri biar hanya tengok jer Beauty Therapist dan promoter tu yang buat kerja. Tak dinafikan memang sangat penat sejak minggu lepas lagi. Minggu ni patutnya ada program dekat Lot 10 tapi nasib baik cansel last minute sebab tak cukup preparation. Dapatlah rehat weekend minggu ni. Terasa nak tengok wayang jer. Last tengok wayang masa dengan cD hari tu. Uishh...betapa sibuklah sangat2 diri ini.Although tak involve in any session of Lot 10 Event still tomorrow kena menghadirkan diri untuk Media Conf and Rooftop party dia.Ermm..Media Conf ok lagi, tapi Rooftop party how am I going to dress up?!Aduh letih memikirkan...Any idea frens???

Ok2..kehidupan since last week macam biasa aje.Nothing much to talk about except that now I'm being super busy.Tak banyak masa nak memikirkan benda2 remeh lain. Environment kerja now memang berbeza. Tak dinafikan sudah biasa dulu bekerja dengan kaum berbangsa cina cuma sekarang memang environment dia totally cina.Dalam office pun dengar lagu cina.Lama kelamaan rasanya memang boleh ni cakap Cina. ;) Penat kerja toksah nak cakap.Pening semua kena kejar dateline. Pastu lepas satu, satu kerja kena fikir.Manalah sempat nak fikir soal hati dan perasaan. Tapi rasanya kalo dah hati tak berkenan tu , kerjalah jadi alasannya. ;) Kalau berkenan tu sure akan diadakan juga masa tu even takde masa. Betul tak? ekeke...So the main subject here is "Not Interested" .

Rasanya petang ni balik kerja kurang pening kot. Kerja kuat, ya kerana ini saje caranya untuk lupakan segala masalah. Take this as a challenge. I will survive!

Bubble Talk

2008-06-18T14:38:00.003+08:00

Its been few weeks since I last wrote my blog<<----It's actually a usual sentence I used to write if quite sometime I didn't do my writing.;)

Hecticly busy!With new job and this coming 20-22th June 2008 Wedding Fair around the corner ahh busy like hell!Wahh...hujan lebat kat luar.How am I suppose to go back home today.Putra sure got this whole jam and butter crowded people coz of this massive heavy rain outside.

Last weekend luckily I got space for myself.On Satuday, we have a farewell party aka family gathering for my Tanter and Paman which separately leave our family to a different place.Tanter to Australia and Paman to Sabah.Each of them following their beloved one.Wah bestnya.I wish I'll get a chance to live in other people place.And experience new style of living.But not following people.I'd like to go on my own!

Sunday noon or evening not quite remember, YM Tengku Hidney(perasan jer mamat ni) smsed me informed that he'll be in KL till Wednesday.I really miss this fren of mine coz its been few months since I think my birthday last year I met him.First saw him that day, was quite surprise coz he looks fair than before.Mandi susu agaknya.wuahahaha...berkilau-kilau macam M Daud Kilau.Ekeke..Jangan marah reel nanti kena jual...me n cD waited for him at KL sentral food court. Somehow I feel so comfortable chat and talk with cD my brother yang cute tu.Coz perhaps we were both shared quite same experience in life.You know what I meant cD.huhuhu....but whatever it is we both always calm and happy outside.;)

And as for those 2 days pass by with me is getting busy with work yet somehow the memories still slip in through my head and makes me sick of myself!I really don't want to think about it anymore.Nothing so special to think about.Right?Right?please answer me <<---talk to myself. Lots of nicer people out there.Nicer..Nicer...and BETTER!hahah..but in what terms of better? Frankly, I've met few people.But I think its better to remains as friend, not more than that.But who knows right it might change someday.Then they have to wait! ;) Wait till this little red meat inside me (called it heart) extremely ready to give others chances.And most important is give me, myself a chance.And also pleaselah if I found those people makes me more bored when I am with them then the answer shall be BIG NO NO ;)

What I should do to not think about it.Ok..Ok..let just put this thing aside<<--- talk to myself again.Arghh...malas nak pikir, kerja lagi penting. I also have right to be happy . Seeing people around me happy, quarrel, baik balik with the one besides them makes me want to be in the same shoes aswell.But it just the matter of time.I AM NOT READY.They aren't the one I'm looking for.Not the criteria atleast I want for a guy.Easy say not my type ok.Not...bla..bla...so many not. Choosy?Picky?I should right?If given too much exceptions then the results will be happy so-so in the end.And yet still it's the matter of time. Until when I also don't know. But Farah said if we weren't looking, they will not just rolling in front of our eyes...eii..lecehnya...or maybe I just still cant forget him..Stupid me..LOL!

Whatever it is, I'm sick with love.Really dont have any interest with anyone at the moment.But to all frens, I am still the same me.Will never change. ;)

Hope & Pray

2008-05-29T16:07:00.003+08:00

I wish and I hope the grass are more greener there. Hope it may bring luck to me. And give me spaces to improve myself towards a better life. I hope everything will be in a good place as in better than yesterday. I know I've to be strong to forget all the sorrows and sadness. Keep on enjoying life and the beautiful of work. Keep myself busy, that's my aim. And give full effort to atleast achieve some satisfaction throughout the work which has been done. I pray to not forget Him. Please Allah keep me always by your side. Although it is a very different environment(I guess!!) with a different kind of belief, I do believe He will always besides me.

I wish, hope and pray that He will always give me strength and peace. Amin..

Two Things

2008-05-15T08:53:00.003+08:00

Only two things required from me.
1)"Never ever forget me"
Why? Why shouldn't I forget you? Why should I remember you? Remember you and all the memories? It will be harder if we both try not to forget each other? If written in our "book" that we will just be friends till death do us part then why can't we accept the truth? It's a fact of life. There's a cycle in life. What goes around comes around. What goes up must come down. Those memories will fade away. As time is running so fast and as we chase our own destiny, I believe "it" will heal. Tell me why shouldn't I forget you. And still he can't give me the best answer ever.

2)"Bless me in anything I want to do"
In what sorts of your "doing" should I bless you? Okay..Okay.. frankly as a friend I'll bless every single and each friend of mine in anything or everything they want to do. Who am I to tell them that they didn't get my blessing. And who am I to not bless people for what they want to do. I aint God <<--Once I've been told that by you. So if you want to settle down then just go ahead. And if it is my call I'll do the same. And I think what best I can do is to advice, give my opinion in anything they want to do. I'll bless you and hope you are happy with any decision made by you.

Last night I was thinking, before I off to bed. Why should I fullfill both requirements while I am still the one who's suffer. I don't want to suffer anymore. Don't want to hurt myself anymore. And I was thinking why is it so hard to forget? Once I heard this phrase about FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET. I was wondering shouldn't we human, forget it once we forgive... *sigh

Nevertheless, I still not satisfy coz I didn't get the answer on why musn't I forget. And last night I decided not to wait anymore as it's not worth waiting <--- This I will fulfill ;)

The Question

2008-05-14T17:07:00.003+08:00

I was nearly speechless when this question came out.
Why do you love me?

Frankly, the answers for this question is too subjetive. I don't even know how to answer it, to arrange words into one complete sentence which can explain in details why on earth do I love him.

The question here is, do we need any concrete reason on why do we love somebody? As I tried to think harder, why I still can't find the answer. Perhaps yes, I do have the answers to the question but I am very not sure how to express it through sentence.

I think it is adequate with below questions ask to your self just in order to explain why do you love him/her.

Why when I shut my eyes, still I see you?
-Why when I want to run away from you, still I'm chasing you?
-Why when I feel like I hate you, deep down inside my heart I still have those love for you?
-Why when I sad and happy, I'm thinking of sharing those moment with you?
-Why when it is too absurd and too subjective to let you know that I love you, my heart beating fast for you?
-Why when you hurt me so, the love has always absorb the pain?
-Why when I hear love songs, I am thinking of you?
-Why when I sleep, I'm dreaming of you?
-Why of all people in this world, it's the ONLY YOU who I fall to?

I'll come more with the questions..the answers you have to find it yourself..

The Losing Rib

2008-05-12T16:40:00.004+08:00

There is a maxim said "Women are made from men losing rib".I am not sure if it is rib or ribs as if let say there's one man lost his ribs then I guess it will created few women depends on how many ribs he lost right? Now I am talking nonsense!

Well somehow, while I was trying to sleep few nights ago I was thinking about this. Is it really true that women are made from men's losing ribs? If yes, then I was thinking again, whose rib I 'carried' inside me?Is it coming from a good man?Or evil man who just selfish and only think about himself? or is it from someone who's pious, or is he the one who I can call a soulmate?Or is he the one that I already met but for some reason God doesn't want to give him to me yet?Or is he the one who's just standing in front of me while we both do not realize that we are MFEO?Me thinking and thinking... *sigh

How I wish I can meet 'him' so I don't have to put myself into these miserable momento!If let say we know the one whom we are going to spend the rest of the life with it would be much more easier.Am i right? Can we like say "hey you, I'm your rib!no need to waste our time lets get married!" LOL!I think I'm going crazy.

I was thinking too about another situation.Where people gets married.And then they found out that they can't spend the rest of their live together due to many reasons soon they file for divorce/separation.Is that mean she's not his losing rib?Is that mean he just "borrowing" someone else's losing rib for certain time?Ermm....Pretty hard to think about how this "Losing Rib" plays their part on our life.On our journey to find a true soulmate...Ermm..Partner for life.This is what exactly what we call fate. I'm not sure how to say this in English but in Malay it says "Jodoh, Ajal, Maut adalah ketentuan Tuhan" But as human being I do believe that we can try our best to determine who we wants to spend the rest of in our life right? Although it's hard, in any circumstances I do believe that people will have to accept any trials given to them. True isn't it? If it isn't then we must figure out ourselves why on earth God gave us so many conjecture to our shoulders.Is it only to burden us or it just a part of experience in life.

And me..Yet I am still thinking and thinking, whose rib I am...

Happy Birthday!

2008-05-05T09:39:00.002+08:00

3rd May 2008 - Its my birthday.I don't feel like celebrating it.Friends and family wrap their love around me still I feel a bit empty.Is it because I don't have him besides me?Does his existence is so much important for me till I can think like this?Owh please I don't want to think about someone who doesn't even think of me.
My wish..
1)to be more wiser in making any decision
2)get a better job with better income
3)change appearances - InsyaAllah for good
4)think more about future
5)concentrate more in life
6)learn from the mistakes
7)spend more time with family
8)have space to myself
9)earn more
and the rest will come.

Kosong

2008-04-28T08:56:00.003+08:00

Entah kenapa jiwa terasa kosong.Meskipun diisi dengan pengisian yang seharusnya mampu menenangkan jiwa tetapi masih tidak mengerti kenapa ia masih teras kosong.Melihat jauh kehadapan tentunya tidak mahu kekosongan jiwa menjadi penghalang untuk mengecapi kebahagiaan. Kenapa hidap perlu diuji dengan dugaan yang berat sebegini.Kadangkala terfikir kenapa diri ini yang menjadi pilihan.Adakah diri ini dilihat sebagai seorang manusia yang kuat dan kebal dalam melawan cabaran?
Kosong sungguh rasa hati ini.Tidak pernah terbayang diri ini akan terbungkam dalam kekosongan yang sebegini.Diri yang penuh ceria, gembira, sentiasa mengukir senyuman telah bertukar menjadi lesu, sedih dan sering termangu sendirian.Memikir dan terus memikir tentang bagaimana untuk mengubati kekosongan dan pedih yang mendalam.Jika diciptakan satu ubat yang dapat melenyapkan segala kenangan sudah pasti diri akan menelan ubat itu dan sudah pasti hidup akan dapat diteruskan seperti tiada apa yang berlaku.
Sungguh pahit menerima kenyataan bahawa diri seperti tiada makna dan sangat mudah dihina.Tiada kesalahan yang dilakukan tetapi masih diletakkan kesalahan di atas bahu ini yang tidak bersalah.Dan kadangkala pelik dengan diri ini mengapa masih memikirkan tentang kebahagiaan orang lain yang dibina atas kesengsaraan diri sendiri.Mengapa masih merindu meski tidak dirindui.Mengapa masih ingin memandang masa silam yang indah meski masa silam yang pahit sentiasa menghantui.Itulah jiwa.Bila kosong, tidak memikir dengan dalam.Walhal banyak lagi perkara penting yang perlu dikejar dan dihitung sebelum berakhirnya nafas yang terakhir itu.Pernah dinasihati bahawa diri perlu mengisi kekosongan itu dengan mengingati Yang Esa.Sudah tentu Dia tidak pernah dilupakan.Dan setiap kali sujud kepada-Nya harapan hanya satu.Harap Dia menunaikan hajat yakni diri ini mahu melupakan segala kepahitan yang membuat kekosongan semakin menebal..melupakan sang dia yang selama ini mengisi hidup suka dan duka...dan memberikan kekuatan di sepanjang jalan hidup yang masih berbaki...
Sungguh kosong diri ini..

Life and Love

2008-04-24T10:18:00.003+08:00

Life is not always beautiful.I think the phrase reflects to everyone in this world.Yes and it is affecting me as of now I do understand there are certain stage in life that does not happen like what we want to.
Owhh i feel so tired with all the craps and game of love.I do not understand why people have to be in love when love is the only thing which hurt most!I guess I just have to stop this game and start a new life ahead.Which I have to do it long time ago!I have to resurrect from my sad moment of life and be more strong as who I am before.I'm not stupid and don't want to be stupid anymore thinking what went wrong and who's fault was that the thing does not come as I want to be.
I have no other medium to express my thoughts and opinion since everything I wrote will be misjudged and misunderstand.I am just so disappointed when all the blame been put on me while I don't even do anything wrong!There's no other way to express my feelings and thoughts rather than blogging.And this the only medium which I believe people don't really knew who I am outside the net.
Owhh yes...I like to blog.I like to write about anything whichever come across my mind.However most favorite subjects are always about life.What had happened to me recently really freaks me on.Only God knows everything.And I do really hope one day God will show the truth and His blessing will always right there for me..
Amin...